Lately, I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. Trying to hold unto God. Feeling like things don’t add up and I’m waiting for an answer. Like I’m fearful that I have fallen out of God’s hands. Anxious, worried, and waiting for the Lord.
Thoughts of feeling worthless. Sad, confused, and unfocused. My feelings are out of control. I feel isolated, abandoned, and vulnerable. I feeling grief over my dog dying who was with me for 10 years. I’m depressed and having feelings of despair. Wondering if God is listening. Still having hurt and pain from my past. I feel distant, withdrawn, and even annoyed. Feeling like I’m at the end of my ropes.
I know my husband DJ is important to me. He has put up a lot with me the last few days. Yesterday, when I was holding his hands, I thought, “I want to hold onto him and not let go.” I want to make our marriage work no matter what. I want to feel close to him. I want to feel close to God.
I need to focus on Jesus and keep the faith. Today, I’ve been pouring out my heart to him. Crying out about my life to the Lord. Trusting in him. No matter what I feel or go through, no matter my emotions, I intend to remain loyal to God.
I cried out, “Yeshua, please intercede for me, my Lord, Jesus Christ. You are my Savior. Please help me in all I do. Help me to do what I need to. I take refuge and shelter in you for you alone are the Mighty one. The one with all the power and authority.
I ask you Lord to be in control of my life because I know you are in control of everything. You hold my heart and my soul so I fear you. I give you my heart. I give you my life. I am your servant. I commit myself to you and surrender to you. I will be loyal to you. I will remain faithful. I have not given up and I pray without ceasing. Please increase my faith.
Lord, I am weak and you are strong. You are my source of strength. Be strong for me. Please make my life be a part of your great plans so that I may be part of your family. To dwell in my Father’s house is all I want in the end.
Show your favor upon me, your servant. I praise you and worship you through it all. My hope is in you alone. No matter what is happening or how I feel, I give thanks to you. During my trials, I call out to you for you are faithful. I call upon the Lord, my God. I patiently wait for your answer.
Holder of eternity, of my soul, I trust in you. You are worthy. You are trustworthy. The beginning and the end. Your faithful love endures. Please keep your promises to me.
I want to be with you above all else. Hold my life in your hands. I need you, my Lord. You are enough. Your love, mercy, and grace are sufficient for me.
Hear my cries, Lord. Hear your daughter. I cry out to you in anguish, to the only one who can help me. My Savior, my creator. The one who can rescue me. My Lord, Jesus Christ. The one I trust. Hear my prayers. I will wait upon the Lord. I know he will answer me.
Please remember your loyal, faithful servant. In Jesus name, Amen.”