I know I am. Sometimes I can’t even see it. Subconsciously I realized I was beating
myself up. Most of us are harder on ourselves than we are towards anyone else. We have
compassion for others but not ourselves. Sound familiar? I want to explore this with you
from a Christian point of view.
Can you accept positive criticism of your accomplishments? Are you proud of yourself
for anything, you’ve done? I realized I couldn’t accept people saying good things about me.
I couldn’t see them. I don’t feel proud of myself. I never feel proud of myself. Do you feel
the same way? It is good to be proud of yourself sometimes. Here’s why… let me care to
explain. It is not pride to be proud of yourself. I realized keeping this type of mentality is
harmful. Why? If you can never accept compliments or pat yourself on the back, you’re
putting yourself down. It’s okay to tell yourself or accept that you’ve done a good job. If
you don’t, you’ll automatically fall into negative thoughts and low self-esteem.
This leads to depression and your self-destruction. You can’t lift yourself out of
your depression when you’re constantly putting yourself down and making yourself last.
You will self-sabotage yourself. It’s a vicious cycle. What I’m trying to say, “We start feeling
as though we are not good enough.” We start telling ourselves that we aren’t good
enough. You try harder and harder to do better but you feel like you’re getting nowhere.
You feel as those you are exactly at the same place, you have been, stuck. Paralyzed and
unable to move forward. You’ll become tired and feel like giving up. No strength or energy
to continue. Exhausted from the constant fight. Fighting yourself is a losing battle. You
and I become our own worst enemy. In sense, keeping ourselves from growing, learning,
laughing, and getting better. Depression creates confusion.
When you begin to tell yourself that you can’t do anything right or what I’ve done
is not good enough. When we let negativity take over, we have more negative thoughts.
I’m not strong enough because I’m weak. I hate myself. Who could love me? Do you get
the picture? This way of thinking will only continue to devalue yourself.
Sometimes we need a new perspective. Who do you think you are? You are God’s
child. God says, “You are good enough. You are worthy. I have chosen you. You are loved. I
have died for you.” You need to stop passing judgment on yourself. God doesn’t want you
passing judgment on others around you and especially not on yourself. Why? We are all
His people and He is our God. Like He says, “Be still and know I am God. I can handle it. I
make it possible. I am the only one who can pass judgment. I am the Alpha and the
Omega. The one who is and was and is to come.” Psalms 46:10 and Revelation 1:8.
Let me put it a different way. Passing judgment on yourself is like saying, “I am
God. I can put judgment myself and others. I’m in control.” In a way, it’s kind of like
putting yourself on a pedestal. Not by praising yourself but by self-focus of yourself in
which you begin idolizing yourself. Your focus is all on yourself when it should be on God.
You get stuck in your world of self-pity. Trapped within your mind. I don’t want to sound
mean but sometimes we need to be told as it is. Being told can help us see ourselves and
kick off the self-focus. It’s not all about us. It’s about God.
I needed a shift of focus. I’m not saying that self-focus is always bad. It can help
you create healthy boundaries that we all need. When we are negative, we create the
wrong types of boundaries where we tend to self-isolate ourselves. We push out not only
the bad but all the good as well. We shut down and stop letting others in and become
lonely which fuels our depression. You have to become uncomfortable and vulnerable at
times to grow and push yourself out of your norm. Staying where we are comfortable does
not help us grow. It only helps us to stay the same. When we push ourselves forward, we
learn and grow past the experience.
I was my own worst enemy. My focus needed to change. I was stuck in my mind
and constantly beating myself up and feeling down. I was knocking myself out life a
boxing match. This made me so weak I couldn’t even concentrate or see any way out.
Making myself physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. This led to spiritual
exhaustion as well. God says, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Beating yourself up makes your burdens extremely heavy to carry because you are casting
judgment on yourself.
God is the only one who is fair and just. He should be the only one judging. He
knows each of us intimately. He knows your heart. God created it with His bare hands. So,
give the judging over to the Lord since He is the creator of our universe. Stop playing with
yourself as though you are God. Give Him all the control. It will be one less burden you
have to carry and will lighten your load. Your shoulders and your mind will thank you.
Here’s the biggest thing… you need to remember you’re not perfect. No one is. We
all make mistakes. Some more than others. Jesus was the only perfect human being
because He is holy and righteous. Without Him, we are unrighteous. Jesus died to save us
from our sins, weaknesses, emotions and feelings, and all our inequities. He took them to
the cross and shed His blood to save your life. Our sins went to the cross and the grave.
He has overcome them. God did this so that you could be forgiven of your sins and
overcome death. Your debt sin was paid in full. He knew we couldn’t change on our own
so Jesus became the change for us.
You need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself as you forgive others. Why? When
you hold unto unforgiveness of yourself, you are holding onto judgment of yourself. You
cannot find any happiness this way.
God is greater in you than the one who is in this world. (1 James 4:4) He is greater
than the darkness, your emotions, and feelings. Jesus surely faced them all while He was
here on Earth. People treated Jesus as a servant, an outcast. Look how He cried out to God
the Father in the garden of Gethsemane or on the cross. He said, “Father, if you are willing,
please take this cup from me. Yet, not my will but yours be done.” Second, “My God, my God, why have you
forsaken me?” (Luke 22:42 and Mark 15:34). Jesus felt sorrow, abandonment, and all the
emotions and feelings, we have today. He knows and understands us. The only one who
knew Jesus intimately was His Father in Heaven. This is why He cried out to the Father and
Why do you think Jesus prayed to God daily? He knew His Father loved Him as He
loves us. He loves you. God wants an intimate relationship with you. Prayer is key. It is
the greatest weapon. Yes, God loves you and knows you. That is why it says, “Do not fear
for I have called you by name. You are redeemed. You are mine.” Isaiah 43:1
If only we would say, “God, I am yours. You are my God. I accept your Son Jesus as
my Savior who suffered, died, and was buried. He rose from the dead and ascended into
Heaven. Thank you for sending your Son to forgive my sins.” Agreeing with God to do
things His way. It is easier when we walk with God instead of continuing to go through the
battle as though we are alone. In Him, your strength will be renewed. You just have to
have Faith. This is where hope comes from because God always has a plan, without fail.
Hope comes from the Almighty.
So… you’re not perfect. Welcome to planet Earth and humanity. Not one of us
hasn’t made a mistake. Have some compassion for yourself. You give compassion to others
now share it with yourself. This is the time to learn from your past mistakes and to
continue onward. Being in this place too long is not good for you. God loves you so much.
He doesn’t want you to stay where you are. He says, “Take hold of my right hand. Let me
teach and show you. I want to equip you with eyes to see my kingdom. To open up your
horizon.” The Lord loves to give us a new perspective, knowledge, and wisdom. God wants
to increase your faith, trust, and belief in Him. He wants to help your unbelief. To help you
release that doubt you are holding onto. Help you in letting go and giving it to Him. God
wants to remove all your fears because His perfect love casts out all fears. (1 John 4:18).
Pray and ask for these things to be given to you. God loves it when we are humble and
ask for His help. When we ask for knowledge and wisdom, He will surely give it.
God plan is to revive us. For the kingdom of Heaven is near. If we could just repent
and turn from our sinful nature. Turn from our ways and follow Him. Ask for the
forgiveness of the sins we committed. God is faithful to forgive us. How great is the
Father’s love for us? He extends mercy and grace to all who ask for it from the heart. Ask
and believe, you will receive. His love is so great that Jesus laid down His life for us as we
are, sinners. He is our righteous. God let His Son die for us, to save us. Can you imagine
letting someone you love die for a friend? I can’t.
The weight of this world is very heavy. God doesn’t want us to carry that weight.
We weren’t designed to be able to. This is why we are meant to come to Him for help and
asking others. Please remember, you are only responsible for yourself, and your own
choices. No one else. You can only change your attitude. You are not responsible for the
poor choices of others or their problems. Help yourself first, otherwise, you will only bleed
on others. Hurting them with your pain. God will help you if you only ask Him to. He will
be your biggest encourager. Ask Him to help you stop being your own enemy, He will.
Once you have decided to follow Jesus, I would recommend you get baptized. Jesus
was baptized. It was part of God’s commandment and pleasing to God. Once baptized, the
Holy Spirit came upon Jesus. We receive the Holy Spirit after baptism. The Holy Spirit is
the Spirit of the living God. He will dwell inside of you and teach you. He is a direct link to
God. He will shepherd as Jesus did. He will help you and intercede for you. Baptism is a
way of saying, “God, I accept you. I will follow your ways and commands.” Acknowledging
the fact that God is higher, as are His ways. It’s a covenant with the Lord, this is why we do
communion. Believing Christ Jesus came to Earth for us as man, suffered, died, and was
buried. Then, rose up to Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. Communion
shows we honor what Jesus did and remember that He will come again. In a way, it says, “I
am your child. I submit to you. You can have my heart. Here I am Lord. I give myself to
you. I admit I’m a sinner. Forgive me. I am broken. I’m a mess. I need you. I come as I am.
Here I am, to humbly serve you. I believe in your Son, Jesus and what He did for me.” Give
God all you have to give, yourself. Then continue in a relationship with Him by obeying
and keeping His commands. Doing what is right and good. This will honor Him.
Don’t forget to give Him thanks and praise, a form of worship.
God knows we are not perfect. That we will stumble and fall. He wants us to
humble ourselves and admit we need Him. That is why He sent His Son. He wanted to
show us and teach us. To make a way for us to Heaven. Jesus is the living sacrifice. Jesus
is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). Jesus made it possible for us. Let me ask you
a question, who are you going to let carry your sins? Are you going to continue to carry
them and be heavy laden? Or, are you going to let Jesus carry them? It’s a choice you need
to make. When you continue to carry them, they will only make you stumble, fall, and be
filled with shame. Regret and quilt that overcome you. When you let Jesus carry them, you
will be released from your bondage and chains. Free from eternal death.
I would like to go back to pride. Being proud is different than being prideful. Pride
is boasting in oneself. It’s saying, “I am perfect the way I am. I don’t need to change.” The
Lord hates the pride and arrogance of those who won’t accept Him and repent. God
doesn’t change. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrew 13:8). It is us that
needs to be changed, our hearts. Our hearts are hardened. The Holy Spirit can help you
with this. God came to heal the sick. The ones who know they are sinners into repentance
(Mark 2:17). To mend the brokenhearted and heal our pain. Our hope is found in God
Someday when you look back from the other side, you’ll be able to see it isn’t about
us. It’s all about God and His grace. His grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9), He
gave us His only Son in our place to bare us from God’s wrath and judgement of our sins
(John 3:16). So, we could have life and live it abundantly (John 10:10). You will have your
own rescue story of how God saved you, I do. He continues to rescue me over and over
again. For the righteous may fall but with God’s help, they get back up again (Proverbs
God is my strength. He fills my cup each day with what I need (Daily Bread). In His
loving arms, I find my peace, rest, and comfort. He gives me self-control. All my help
comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:2). This is how I have overcome depression by stepping
into the Light, God’s Light. He calls each of us out of the darkness into the Light. Do you
I want to touch a little on compassion. Have compassion for yourself as you do
others. As Jesus did for others. You’re doing the best you can with what you have and
know. Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop being your enemy. Start encouraging yourself
and believing in yourself. Believe that you have the power and control to do this with
God’s help. Be confident in the Lord. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. You deserve it
just as others do. We all need love and compassion. Compassion says, “I didn’t know better
before. Now I do.” When you know differently than you can act differently. Love says, “I
died for you so that you may have life.” These three remain; faith, hope, and love. But the
greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13). For without love, we are nothing (1
I encourage you to listen, learn, and allow yourself to grow. Change comes from
within when you are willing to listen. Then you will learn and be able to apply it to your
own life. This is how growth happens. We have to be willing to learn. There is always a
lesson to be learned if you are willing to listen. We all have to be taught. Next, be patient
with yourself. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. God knows where you are. He
knows you. He will help you. God will continue to perfect you till your end of the days,
when He calls you home. He promises to do so. He who began a good work in you is
faithful to continue (Philippians 1:6). Rest upon God’s promises and you will find all the
hope you need to keep going. When you have God, you have all you will ever need. Come
closer to God and He will come closer to you (James 4:8).
My last encouragement to you is to pray out to the Lord. Sing songs to the Lord.
Sing when you are walking through the valley of darkness. Worship brings us closer to
God. He doesn’t promise it will be easy but He does promise to always be with us. Praise
and worship is our way of saying, “Lord I don’t understand but I do trust in you. I know
your ways are good. They are the best.” Praise Him because He is perfect in all His ways.
Prayer is our greatest weapon against the evil one and the darkness of this World. Pray
without ceasing (1 Thessalonian’s 5:17). Let God’s hope and joy be a safeguard for your
heart. Then you will be filled with peace and understanding that surpasses this world even
in the chaos. Remain in His Word, the Bible, to increase your spiritually maturity. Dwell in
the refuge and shield of the Almighty. Dwell in the house of the Lord. You will find your
greatest happiness and desires in Him. Everything that matters is right in front of us. We
just need to open our eyes to see. Love is the greatest gift. Try loving yourself as Jesus
loves you. Love yourself as you love others, right where you’re at. The imperfect Christian
who needs Christ. Don’t miss out on love. So, remember to pause and enjoy life before it’s
gone. Give God all the thanks and praise for what you do have. Every good thing comes
from God (James 1:17). He has so many blessings that He wants to bestow on you. So
many He has already given you that you will miss someday. Be full of gratitude and live
life intentionally. May God bless you.